6 Questions to Ask Before You Move in with your Significant Other
by Ice Artificio
Jun 30, 2017
Moving in with your significant other is a huge leap in a relationship. Unlike picking roommates where you can have a form of detachment and lay down ground rules, sharing a home with a partner can be very intimate and reveals a side of your girlfriend/boyfriend that you may not have seen before. Such a big step can either make or break a couple.
There are many pros and cons to living together with your significant other but before you make that decision to share a household, here are 6 things you need to ask yourselves before signing that lease together:
How Will You be Splitting the Rent, Bills, and Groceries?
This is the first thing you need to discuss. Try to keep stay away from your feelings from each other when going through this. You want to be practical and discuss each other’s salaries, how frequent you get paid, job stability, and how you will deal if one or the other’s paycheck gets delayed or worse: if one of you gets laid off. Some couples split utilities and groceries, while others allot a certain budget for those expenses. Talk about it and make sure to voice out what seems fair or if something is far-fetched. Also discuss what will happen in case you decide to part ways mid-contract.
How Far is the Unit from Your Workplace?
One of the biggest reasons to rent an apartment is proximity to the workplace. This should ring true for the both of you. If you are working on opposite ends of the metro, is one of you willing to compromise for the other? Or should you meet halfway? We recommend the latter.
How is You and Your Partner’s Financial Management?
Many couple fights stem from money problems. Try to have a clear grasp of how you and your SO handle money. Do both of you spend like there’s no tomorrow or do one of you have a thrifty approach to your earnings? Living together will require you to share some if not all of your finances so you need to know how you will use each other's’ strengths and weaknesses in this area.
How Do You Clean After Yourself?
More importantly, how will you distribute chores among each other? Who will be in charge of what and how should it be done? Odds are, you’ll both be working and by the end of the day when you are tired and have a short fuse, small things like not immediately cleaning the dishes or keeping the toilet seat up (or down) can be a source of friction.
How Much Stuff Will You Be Bringing With You?
If you are getting a small space, it does not make sense to bring in huge pieces of furniture or all your childhood memorabilia. Discuss how much stuff you can bring in and what your options are for items that will not fit in your would-be apartment. Are you both okay with raising pets in your potential home or is that a no-no? Is one of you a minimalist or a clutter-bug?
How Often Do You Have Guests Around
It’s great to have friends and family around at home but only for certain periods of time This may sound petty but when one of you is an introvert and the other an extrovert, having people all the time in your place of rest can be maddening. Not to mention the clean up after can be tedious. If you’re not comfortable in having people around, try to identify how much you can tolerate. Come to an agreement like people can come but only on weekends and they cannot stay no longer than 11pm or they can visit as long as they clean up after themselves.
The great thing about moving with your partner is that you can complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses and get to function as a team. Don’t be afraid to confront your partner on areas you think you will clash. When you’ve satisfactorily discussed all the above and some specific details you may have, you can now start or continue browsing possible homes for rent that will fit your needs while listening to Beach Boys’ Wouldn’t It Be Nice - I’ve always wanted to do that.
Do you have any questions that you think everyone should ask their partner before moving in? We’d love to hear it in the comments below!